Carrying Corban

Corban Josiah

When I was little, our homeschooling morning would always start with a half hour during which we read our Bibles and journaled. My mom always encouraged us to ask hard questions and not take our faith at face value. We... Continue Reading →

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Due for a Reprieve

At the onset, I thought we would climb out. We would get pregnant or we would adopt or we would...something, I don't know. We'd get out and life would normalize. But it is seventeen months later and I think it is safe to say that there is no getting out of this trench.

June Fifth

Over Christmas, I ordered a new calendar. I am a planner - I like lists and visual representations of life. I write everything down. I also love Ansel Adams, so the calendar is a black and white monstrosity of nature... Continue Reading →

The Nurses

I went through a little box of Cory's stuff a couple days ago. It is very small and everything in it is tiny, just like he was. There is an itty bitty blanket and matching hat that someone knit and... Continue Reading →


There is a solace to moving in time away from the day Corban was born. As little milestones pass (like the three month mark two weeks ago), it gets a little easier. I still feel like anyone looking at me can see... Continue Reading →

What Are Your Plans?

Since Cory died, so many people have reached out to us. Family, friends, even people we had never met before have sent us messages, letters, cards, books, cookies, flowers, and stuffed animals. The support has been so sweet and so... Continue Reading →

An Empty Nest

An "empty nester" is someone whose children have grown up and left home. They are those mostly lucky couples that have been given children, raised them, and watched them gain the independence and fortitude to head off into the world... Continue Reading →


When I was little, I experienced more than my share of mental and emotional trauma. As a coping mechanism, I learned to let myself float away. I distinctly remember sitting in a finished basement staring at a lightbulb and pretending that... Continue Reading →

It’s Hard to Hope

I have a few tattoos, all of which I cherish. At a time in my life when my faith was faltering and seemed as though it might sputter out completely, I had it tattooed on my back. I wanted to... Continue Reading →

Corban’s Future

I love to play the piano. It is one of my favorite ways to relax and unwind. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to take lessons consistently at any point in my life, so I have a lot of bad habits and... Continue Reading →

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